I Won't Leave Your Side
by samikayne
Summary: What if Marco hadn't died in the battle to reclaim Trost? This will be a multichapter fic with lots of angst and romance. Rated M for a reason. This is my first fic, so let me know how you like it!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One- Heartbeats**

Jean Kirchstein propelled himself past building upon building with his 3D maneuver gear at a frenzied pace, the likes of which he'd never reached before. He was frantic, almost hitting walls on more than one occasion, determined to get to Marco Bodt before it was too late.

He had been looking for his freckled best friend on top of the 50 meter tall Wall Rose that Commander Pixis had ordered them to retreat to once Eren had plugged the gigantic hole in the wall using his titan ability. He had been asking everyone if they had seen Marco, because he had something very important to tell him. Suddenly, above all else, he heard Marco's terrified screams from below. Jean saw his best friend cornered by a titan of the 15 meter class. Marco was attempting to dodge it's gigantic reach, but he was running out of gas for his 3DMG and would be stuck on the ground soon enough. Defying orders, Jean jumped off the wall at record pace. His friends and fellow soldiers, Connie Springer and Sasha Blause, flanked him.

Jean prayed for a miracle the closer he got to the sound of Marco's screams. His best friend had to live, had to make it to the Military Police and be safe in Wall Sina. He had to fulfill his dreams. Jean wouldn't stand for anything less than the best for his dearest friend. "This is Marco," he whispered to himself, "He can't die. He can't leave me... Not before he knows how I feel. He deserves at least that much from me."

It was insane to Jean how much he'd changed for the better the closer he and Marco became. He used to hate everyone and everything, a cocky and headstrong brat with a knack for finding fights. He was an asshole, it was true. Until he met Marco Bodt, his total opposite. Marco was charismatic and genuinely kind. He honestly wanted to serve the King in the Military Police, completely aloof to the perks, unlike Jean, who just wanted to take the easy life. Marco always diffused conflicts between Eren and Jean, and kept Jean calm. Jean felt truly safe with Marco at his side.

That is, until about a year into training, which was now two years ago. Jean began to see Marco differently. When Marco was upset, Jean wanted to hold his hand. When Marco laughed, Jean wanted to kiss his freckles and tickle his ribs. When Marco looked at Jean and gave that understanding smile of his, Jean was most terrified. Jean wanted to kiss Marco's lips. They looked soft. Jean was too afraid of losing Marco to do any of these things, scared of how Marco would react if he knew that his best friend had fallen for him. He feared losing the only friendship he ever had, so he took solace in the occasional hug, or often when Marco would hold him after a particularly bad night terror. Night terrors were common for Jean.

Jean often wondered if his mother had escaped before Trost, his hometown that they were currently in, had fallen. He had intense night terrors of her being eaten almost nightly, and he was helpless to stop the monsters from ripping her limb from limb. She would scream for him to save her, her brave little soldier, Jeanboy. He was always such an asshole to her and never got the chance to make amends with his elderly mother. Marco would often wake to Jean's shaking and whimpers from the top bunk. He would crawl up to the bunk and find Jean sobbing in his sleep. He always held Jean through the terrors, running his fingers through the light layer of Jean's two-toned hair.

Jean needed those nights with Marco and therefore kept his true feelings hidden from him for two long years. He had planned to finally tell Marco that he was in love with him after the battle to reclaim Trost. He couldn't well do that if Marco was dead though, could he? He was only a few corners away now, praying to God, or whoever would listen, hoping his fear would be enough for them to spare his dearest friend.

"Oh my God," Jean whispered aloud as he swung around the last corner. The titan had Marco in the air, holding him upside down by one foot, positioned to where Marco would fall right into it's gaping mouth. Marco screamed, unable to fight back. His 3DMG had been crushed in the scuffle between him and the titan, and his blades were scattered across the bricks below. Jean let out a guttural scream and charged, planting his 3DMG into the back of the titan's neck. "Marco!" he cried out, skillfully severing the titan's weak spot. The titan fell, and Jean landed on the brick path. He looked for Marco, but soon realized with horror that the titan had swallowed Marco whole before dying. It was too late. Marco was gone.

"No! You are not dead! You ARE NOT DEAD!" Jean screeched, falling to his knees on unsafe ground. Connie and Sasha stood behind him, Jean's tears splattering on the bricks. The two decided that all they could do was to protect Jean and give him time, so they propelled up to the rooftops to make sure the titan's stayed away from Jean. It didn't look like a good idea to move Jean at any point soon. They looked down at Jean's sobbing form, and tears rolled from their cheeks as well. Marco was a great person, and they couldn't believe he was gone themselves.

Jean was going insane with grief. He couldn't even grasp that Marco was gone. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no..." He mumbled aloud, head in hands and rocking himself. "He can not be gone!" Jean got up and walked to the corpse of the titan, already beginning to smoke and dissolve. "You son of a bitch, give him back!" He kicked and punched at the stinking corpse, screaming like a madman. He didn't even form words at this point. This continued for a couple more minutes until the craziest thought he'd had yet occurred to him. "Wait..." he thought. "Eren, when he got back to normal, he said he saw a girl alive in the titan's stomach, the one that ate him... Marco wasn't bitten, he was swallowed whole. I have to... I have to cut it open and see. If anything, I can bring his body back. What if he's really alive in there still? I'm wasting time."

Jean began to delicately saw at the titan's stomach, until he made a long, thin incision at the lining of the sack. Disgusting, hot stomach acid began pouring from it, and slowly, pieces of torsos and legs began spilling out. "What if he can't breathe in there?" Jean panicked as he began opening more of the sack, hurriedly pulling limb from limb through to find Marco's freckles in all the stench. Jean was covered in disgusting acid, and could have thrown up if he hadn't been so focused on getting Marco out. He finally found an arm covered in freckles. Thankfully, as he continued to pull, he discovered it was still attached to Marco himself. Marco was still and unmoving. Jean drug his larger built friend out into the part of the street that wasn't covered in stomach acid and pressed his ear to Marco's chest.

_Thump...thump...thump..._

"Holy shit, Connie, Sasha, his heart is beating!' Jean screamed, grinning to the two, who grinned back. He then began CPR, though his heart was beating, Marco was not breathing. After several minutes had passed, Jean began to panic, wondering if the stomach acid had filled his lungs. Another several minutes had passed and Jean, even in his deranged state, knew it was useless. Marco would die. He began to sob into Marco's fading heartbeat, planting kisses on his chest. " I love you, Marco. Please, baby, come back to me. Don't leave me here without you. I'm sorry I never told you all the things I needed to say, that you deserved to hear. I love you, I've been in love with you for a very long time, and if you just breathe for me, Marco, I will never leave your side." He waited there for another ten minutes before he stood to leave. He took one step from Marco before he heard something that caused him to swivel.

"You... promised...Jean. No... leaving..." Marco whimpered, before erupting into a coughing fit, vomiting up titan acid. Jean at last was able to breathe himself, and he cracked into the biggest smile.

"You son of a bitch, you heard me?" Jean teased, crouching down to where Marco lay, preparing him for transport back up the wall. He hoped his 3DMG could support the two of them, as Marco, even with the proper gear, would never have made it up on his own.

"Every word..." Marco replied, and Jean had him prepared to take off already. "I have... loved you... Jean Kirchstein... from the first time I ever... saw you..." Jean beamed, kissing Marco's forehead before propelling off as quickly as possible back up to the wall. Connie and Sasha still flanked Jean, guarding the two and keeping an eye out for any obstacles.

As they headed up the wall, Jean repeated in Marco's ear, "I will never leave your side, Marco Bodt."

"I won't almost die again, Jean Kirchstein," Marco weakly sassed back. They finally reached the top of the wall, and a medic was already waiting for them. Many had witnessed the scene from above, and the 104th training squad all rushed to congratulate the two young lovers. As the medic lifted Marco onto a sick cart, Jean followed. He took his promise to Marco literally, clutching Marco's hand the entire time.

"He's going to live," Jean thought. "And I'm going to live for him."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two- Glad To Be Here**

Marco coughed up titan stomach acid for two whole hours after making it back to Wall Rose. Jean kept his word, not leaving Marco's side for one minute. Marco felt comforted by Jean's presence and wasn't even slightly annoyed. He needed Jean there to make sure he was safe.

"Are you sure you don't need anything?" Jean asked him, probably about thirty times in a two hour time span. Jean's eyes were filled with concern, and he kept rubbing Marco's back in a reassuring gesture as Marco would alternate between coughing violently, to vomiting from the strain of coughing violently. Marco was reassured, and every touch from Jean was like falling into a bed of feather pillows. He finally stopped coughing after the longest time and his throat was almost unbearable. However, Jean was there to hold his hand, and soon, Marco drifted into a dead sleep. The kind where no dreams come and you feel like a rock was placed on your eyelids. Jean soon followed Marco into sleep, curling around him as Marco had so many times before, when Jean was shaken by his night terrors. The two slept soundly for several hours before being awoken by Connie Springer.

"Baldie..." Jean groaned. Marco sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes. "Why...?" Marco chuckled lightly at Jean's melodramatic antics.

"Hey, don't blame me! Pixis wants us to begin cleanup of Trost. Captain Levi's team has killed all of the district's remaining titans." Connie shrugged. "Work's not done yet." He then looked to Marco. "Glad you're still with us, Marco. I would never have thought to try to cut you _out _of that thing." Marco beamed at Connie in genuine warmth, and stood to give Connie a big hug.

"Jean is a genius," he replied, proud and grateful to the man of his dreams. He wouldn't have thought of it either, he was sure. "How many lives could we have saved if we had known that people could live in the stomach for so long?" Marco thought to himself, sadly. He began to think that someone should implement this strategy for the Scouts. He wished no one would ever have that fear again. Jean finally got off the cot they had been sleeping on and began attaching his gear. Once that was complete, he walked over to Connie, and in an odd display of genuine gratitude, patted him atop the short cadet's bald head. He then pulled Connie into a hug.

" I couldn't have saved Marco without you and Sasha backing me up. Thank you, so much, Connie. I won't forget it." He then blushed wildly and went to get Marco's new gear for him. Marco quickly put on the 3DMG and the three walked out of the wounded tent to the wall front.

"This is going to be a bitch," observed Jean as he took in the view of rubble, corpses, and titan filth below.

"Yep," agreed Marco. He slid his arm around Jean's waist, looking into his eyes and smiling. "I'm glad I'm here to do it, though." Jean blushed again and the two smiled at each other a moment more before they headed to receive orders from Commander Pixis on specific duties.

The entire 104th trainee squad was conveniently assigned to the same task, though it was a pretty shitty task if Jean said so himself. Which he did, to his fellow soldiers, as they all grouped together to come up with a strategy to get this done as quickly as possible. Corpse Retrieval. "Of course Armin, Mikasa, and that smug asshole, Eren, get to conveniently skip looking at all the corpses of our men that gave their lives for Eren," Jean thought angrily, clenching his fists tightly. Marco gave Jean a reassuring pat on the soldier, as if he's read Jean's mind, and Jean instantly calmed. The two, accompanied by Krista, Ymir, Connie, Sasha, Bertholdt, Reiner, and Annie, jumped down into the wreckage of Trost, and set to work on cleaning out Jean's hometown.

Marco was reminded as he reached the bottom of the wall that they hadn't cleaned out the civilians corpses from the fall of Trost yet either. He remembered Jean's night terrors, how many nights he'd been screaming for his mother. Could Jean's mother be amongst the dead that they were about to retrieve from the wreckage? What would that do to Jean? He remembered how it felt just nights before, when Jean was hit with an especially bad nightmare and sobbed, drenched in his own sweat and tears, for hours even after Marco had come up to calm him. He'd sneaked back down the ladder quietly before morning, as he always had, to his own bunk. He wished more than anything that he could stay until morning, that he could wake up to the sunlight on Jean's face just this one time. He didn't believe Jean would ever feel safe at night without someone there to protect him. He wished, back then, that Jean had just needed him, that no one else would suffice. Now that Jean had confessed his true feelings to Marco, he looked forward to every moment he spent with Jean. Just being at his side was a relief, a safety in the wreckage. He smiled to Jean reassuringly, hoping that Jean wasn't realizing that his mother could be down here. They began cleanup.

Body upon body was piled into wagons for them to haul to the fires later. They identified as many people as possible, but much of what they found were just severed limbs. There was no way to totally account for the dead. The civilians and soldiers mixed together in the wagons, slowly filling them until the first five carts needed to be transported out. Reiner and Bertholdt, the two most physically strong men on the squad, hauled the wagons to the fire, dumping pile after pile onto the pit. The stench was awful, and many threw up. Ymir had to stop with Krista, her girlfriend, multiple times so she could hold back Krista's hair. Such a sweet young girl shouldn't have been there. None of them should have. A bunch of kids, trained as soldiers, hauling bodies. It sickened Marco. He kept strong though, until he came across a familiar body. Jean's mother. He recognized her from the one time she visited Jean at base. He had been so cruel to her, but had loved her deep down. She was missing an arm and part of her torso. "What should I do? Should I hide the body from Jean? Should I let him see?" Marco panicked. In the end, he decided he had to tell Jean, but that he wouldn't show Jean unless Jean decided he needed to see her. He found Jean one street over, and he pulled Jean away to where the two could talk. "Jean..." he began. "I found your mother."

"What?" Jean asked in a daze. He had heard Marco, but he couldn't grasp the words.

"She's dead, Jean. I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry my love. I thought you should know," Marco wrapped Jean in a hug and held him up as the tears began to flow. "I haven't put her on the cart yet, I didn't know if you wanted to see her. It's not pretty." She'd been there for days, her corpse was rotting and stiff and mangled. Her face had been frozen by rigor mortis into a silent scream. Jean really shouldn't look. "But who am I to deny him if he wants to see his dead mother one last time?" Marco thought. Jean sniffled.

"I want to see," Jean whispered. Marco began to lead Jean to his mother, holding his hand to keep him in this world. He didn't let go of Jean once. When they reached the spot, Jean fell at his mother's feet. This was exactly how he'd always seen her in his nightmares. An arm and a piece of torso gone. He'd never seen her rotting though. This was worse than his worst nightmares, and it was real. He became catatonic. Frozen. Marco stood back a couple feet, waiting for Jean to move, but Jean just continued to stare at his mother's screaming mouth. Finally, Marco knew he had to do something. He crouched down to Jean, and wrapped his arms around him, pressing his chest into Jean's back. Jean twitched at the touch, and, realizing that it was Marco, finally looked away. He slumped down and began to cry like a child. He then turned to Marco and hugged him, sobbing until he had nothing left. Marco was patient, and just held him as long as he needed. Finally, Jean got up, picked his mother up, and put her on the cart. They silently picked up the rest of the area together, and Pixis commanded them to end work for the night.

The scarred 104th trainee squad ate their dinner in silence. The cook must have been smart, thought Jean. There was no meat in the meal. Still, some cadets threw up nonetheless. Neither Marco nor Jean ate at all, they just sat at the table holding hands under it until they were excused. They were finally able to change into citizen's clothing and had the rest of the night to themselves. It was time for the two to finally talk in private.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three- The Truth of Two A.M.**

Marco suggested that they go for a walk, get some air. Jean agreed, and they walked along the wall tops hand in hand, attempting useless and awkward small talk. They finally found the perfect place to sit, where the moon was in clear view high in the sky, and sat down, side by side, feet hanging over the wall into the exterior. Marco, usually the talkative one, was silent, lost in his own thoughts. He looked down the wall at the trees below. Jean, usually the less communicative of the two, felt like he needed to talk about anything other than his mother's corpse, which was etched into his brain deeply. So instead he focused on telling Marco everything.

"I've been in love with you for two years now, Marco Bodt." Marco didn't look up, and Jean was confused. Marco was acting strange. He kept talking though, hoping to get Marco to look at him soon. He would be able to read Marco if he could just see his face. "I've known that I'm in love with you for two years. I think that I started to fall for you after the first month or so of training. You were my only friend, the only person who could handle my shitty attitude, ever. In my whole life no one looked further into who I really am. Even when I snapped on you, you forgave me. Understood me. You are the best person I have ever met, Marco Bodt. I don't know what I would have done if you had died, if I hadn't have been able to save you. In my dreams, you are the one person I know as safety. You're my home, my happy place, I guess. I don't think I could live with myself if you became my nightmare." Jean cracked, tears beginning to fall, silent sobs choking him. "Why isn't Marco looking at me?" he thought, using his jacket sleeve to wipe his tears. "Marco...?" he pleaded, voice cracking and taking on a childish, needy tone that he didn't like one bit. "Please... just look at me."

Marco couldn't bring himself to look up. It was breaking his heart to hear the pain in Jean's voice, but he was hurting, too. He resisted the urge to comfort Jean, knowing that if he were to console him, he'd never get out what he needed to say. It was important that he didn't back out of telling Jean. Jean deserved to know the truth about Marco.

"Marco, were you...lying? Do you even love me? You can t-tell me, y-" Marco finally snapped to attention, grabbing Jean roughly by the soldiers, forcing him to face him. Marco stared into Jean's eyes with a fire-like anger that Jean had never seen before in soft-spoken, mild-mannered Marco. He was afraid of what Marco had to say.

"Don't you even finish that fucking sentence, Jean Kirchstein," Marco growled. Tough-guy Jean actually flinched at the bite in Marco's voice. Marco very rarely cursed unless he was absolutely serious about something. "Of course I love you. I love you more than anything in this world. I would gladly spend the rest of my life at your side, marry you, die by your side. I can't though, because we're going our separate ways soon, and you're going to find someone else to hold you at night, who won't be too cowardly to stay until the morning, and will never hide their feelings from you or make you question their love for you!" Marco lost all fury and began to shake and sob violently, crumpling into Jean's chest, soaking his shirt in tears. Jean held him tightly, trying not to speak until he knew Marco could respond. Finally, he spoke softy.

"What do you mean, 'We're going our separate ways?'"

Marco sniffled. "I can't join the Military Police with you, Jean." he sat straight up so he could see Jean, mustering his courage. He wiped his nose on his sleeve before continuing. "I have to go into the Scouts. I can't let anyone feel the inside of a titan without fighting back. Not anymore. Besides, won't I still be in service to His Majesty if I help eradicate the threat against humanity?" Marco sighed. "You'll be safe in Sina. You'll move on and forget me...I'm jealous of whoever you will fall for in the future..." Marco burst into tears again. Jean did his best to dry Marco's freckles.

"Marco, I wasn't just talking for the sake of hearing my own voice when I saved you, you know. I will _never_ leave your side. Never. Military Police or Survey Corps, Interior or Exterior, day or night I am yours, Marco Bodt. I will protect you. I will never fail you again. I just got you back and I refuse to leave you alone." Jean held Marco as close as possible, kissing his salty tears. He was still too shy to kiss Marco's lips just yet. He'd drown in Marco Bodt's ocean, he decided, if it would make him smile.

"B-but..." Marco stammered through tears, "you worked s-so h-h-hard for this. Don't g-give it up-p for me."

"I'd rather give up everything for you than not have you when I've just found you. Besides, you can change your mind, why can't I?" Jean sighed, "Too bad that damn Jaeger turned out to be right though, huh?" The two finally smiled at each other, and Marco accepted that Jean would join the Survey Corps with him. The two stayed on the wall like that, holding hands and looking at the moon, for several hours, barely speaking. Finally, the two went back to the barracks. For the very first time, they went to bed together, unashamed.

"Goodnight, Marco," Jean whispered softly. "I love you."

"Goodnight, Jean," Marco replied. Jean was already snoring, sound asleep, when Marco whispered into his ear, "I'll see you in the morning."

Smiling, he fell asleep peacefully.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four- Phoenix Fire**

The week had gone by quite slowly for Marco and Jean. It was agonizing, five days straight of cleaning out the rotting corpses in Trost. Jean wondered to himself if it was even really cleaning up if so many soldiers were vomiting everywhere. By the end of the week, the stench of vomit and rot was even worse than it was when they started. All the soldiers had to suffocate the stench was a handkerchief over their noses and mouths. Finally though, five cruel days later, all the corpses had been removed and disposed of. Marco was more than relieved, having been sick himself a few times, to hear that the soldiers would have a week's break from all duties. After which, the ceremony of choosing which branch of the military they would join, would happen.

Marco was still sure that he was going to join up with the Survey Corps. Jean had tried to talk him out of it a few times, late at night, worried for Marco's safety, but Marco had held firm. Marco Bodt was a very purpose driven person, and though he often bended to Jean's will, once he put his mind to something he would always see it through. Jean eventually gave in, and secretly respected and loved Marco even more for holding strong to what he felt was right. The two no longer bothered to sleep alone, and Marco's bunk had been abandoned. They spent the entire week whispering to each other late at night about their plans.

Jean, however, still had a more pressing thought than the Survey Corps. He was definitely less terrified of war than he was of planning his first real kiss with Marco. Yes, they'd been together about a week now, but they had not kissed on the lips. Marco would hold him and kiss the top of his head when he had nightmares, and Jean would press his lips to Marco's hands when they were intertwined with his, but more than anything, he wanted to crush his lips into Marco. He wanted to be as close to Marco as humanly possible, but he was too chicken to make a move. In truth, he'd never kissed anyone before. He was still a virgin. He figured Marco would think he was a loser for not doing anything with anyone just yet, but in truth, he'd had chances. He just didn't take them, because they weren't Marco. He would have never kissed anyone his entire life if Marco hadn't reciprocated his feelings.

Meanwhile, Marco was having almost the same thoughts. Marco had never been kissed, never had sex, never even really thought about it until Jean came along. Marco was not gay, he knew that. He was more demisexual than anything, he supposed. Marco just wasn't really attracted to anyone other than Jean. He'd never given intimacy a second thought until he'd met Jean. Jean was the sun to him, and Marco was the Earth. Marco was constantly revolving around Jean, always making everything about him. He had seen pretty girls, sure. Handsome guys, sure. For some reason though, the only one he had ever wanted to touch at all was Jean. He knew that the first kiss was coming soon, and was anxious as hell. "What if I don't do it right, or mess up?" he wondered. He was sure Jean had probably kissed many girls, possibly had sex with them at some point. He was terrified that he would be an inexperienced dork and that Jean would laugh at him, or worse, pity him. He knew logically that Jean would never tease him or make him feel bad about himself, but when the young are in love, many irrational fears come to play.

The two were completely in sync on two things, however. One, that they were going to take advantage of the week off and make some great memories. Two, that they were going to share their first kiss before it was over.

The week off began a little slow, with all the soldiers traumatized by the scenes they had witnessed in Trost. The first two days, everyone stayed in bed, sleeping, or staring at the ceiling, trying to figure out why titan's were so terrible, as if the cracks in the ceiling held answers. Jean and Marco just held each other, whispering so as not to disturb the others. Connie and Sasha were the only two soldiers seemingly unaffected by all the terrors of Trost. They spent the days by the fireplace, playing cards and gambling with pieces of bread. They were laughing and wrestling, often Sasha would scream, "You cheated!" before tackling him and tickling him. Marco was happy for them, seeing the love grow between them. Jean was just annoyed about their racket. After the third day though, things appeared to be looking up. More and more soldiers got out of bed. Marco and Jean abandoned their pajamas for their civilian clothes and joined Connie and Sasha. By about noon that day, the entire squad had risen and joined the four, and they all decided to go for a swim in the lake. They were on a vacation after all.

Annie, Connie, Reiner, Bertholdt, Sasha, Marco, Ymir, Jean, and Krista all jumped into the water simultaneously. Reiner, a very bulky and muscular man, almost created a tidal wave on his own. Annie was not very social to begin with, so after she had gotten in the water, she reemerged and headed to shore to tan her pale skin. Bertholdt looked extremely uncomfortable in the water, and mostly just stood there. Sasha and Connie had already started a splashing war, and Ymir and Krista joined in. After a bit of peer pressure, Jean and Marco followed. The six fought rigorously, and the winner was last person standing. If you said "No more!" you were out. "Simple enough," thought Jean. "I'm going to win!"

Connie, Krista, and Marco had already lost at this point in the game, and Sasha, Ymir, and Jean remained. Bertholdt, Annie, and Reiner had moved to the shore, and the trio seemed to be whispering to each other with a solemn look on their faces. Jean disregarded it and put his head back in the game. Winner was going to get the last of the boar jerky that Sasha had made with the leftovers from their cooking competition a few weeks ago. He knew Marco loved it, so he was determined to win it for him. He sent a wave straight for Ymir's face and some water got into her nose.

Choking, Ymir coughed out a, "No more!" and swam to the side with the other losers. Krista looked worried and asked if she needed CPR. Ymir smirked. "Only the mouth to mouth part," she said, and Krista turned beet red.

Sasha and Jean were the last two remaining. It was never a good idea to mess with Sasha and her food, but Jean was probably the only one cocky/dumb enough to do it. Jean refused to back down, even when they were both choking for air from all the water up their noses. Sasha's stomach growled, and Jean knew it was only a matter of stalling her out until she forfeited for dinner. So that's what he did, dodging her splashes and sending back his own until a famished Sasha cried out, "No more! No more!" and Jean had won. The six soon left the lake and headed to the barracks for dinner. Sasha had her jerky stashed in her storage chest and would have to get back there to retrieve Jean's prize. Marco got to shore first, followed by Jean. As Jean approached the shore, getting ready to get up, Marco tackled him back into the water with a hug. Jean responded by tickling the hell out of him. The others laughed at the quirky couple as they finally got out of the water. They noticed that the trio on the shore had gone ahead and left without them. "Weird," thought Jean. "I hope they aren't planning a prank." Without another thought about it, he began to walk quicker, catching up to Marco and the others. He got behind Marco and wrapped his arms around his torso, whispering in his ear in a voice that caused Marco's groin to flare, "Maybe we'll have to come back here later and play Marco Polo."

"If he says my name in that tone again, we most certainly _will _have to come back out here," Marco thought, blushing from ear to ear.

The couple did return to the lake the next day, and every day for the remainder of their short vacation. The entire 104th did. Each day went relatively the same, games and prizes. Marco Polo was played, but much to Marco's dismay, Jean did not make a move on him. Instead, they all laughed and unwound. Too soon came their last day off, and Jean had plans for his and Marco's final day of freedom. They did not join the others at the lake that day, but instead headed into the woods. Jean knew them well and had a special spot he liked to come to as a child that would make a perfect picnic spot for the two. He had never showed anyone this spot. He used to come here as a child, just to be alone and blow off some steam. His mom and him would fight constantly. He hated that now, though he could have cared less then. Marco held his hand as they trekked through the pines and oaks, making Jean feel a little better about heading to his spot.

The two finally reached the meadow clearing at the top of the hill after about a half hour's hike. The scene before them was beautiful. The sun hit the clearing just right, and the trees rustled in the breeze. The clearing was filled with daisies, violets, and sunflowers. Marco smiled lightly when he noticed that the only tree in the clearing, a willow, sat right in the middle with Jean's initials carved into the trunk. The couple set up their picnic under the tree at Marco's insistence. Conversation almost always came easily to the pair, and soon they were in a full on debate about whether Connie's hair was cut that way, or if he just couldn't grow hair.

"It's definitely some weird, bald-o defect!" cried out Jean, laughing at the turn of the conversation.

"Jean, that's so rude. Of course he just likes it that way," Marco sighed, thinking about how he wound up with such a ridiculous life partner. He yelped when Jean tackled him to the ground, squirming to break free. Jean pinned Marco's legs down with his chins, and pinned his wrists with this hands. He now straddled Marco, hovering above him and panting.

"Marco Bodt, I have came to a very grievous conclusion," Jean started through heavy breaths. "You are just too nice for this world! I have to tickle the nice out of you!" Jean let Marco's arms free and then proceeded to poke at Marco's sides, a place he'd learned that Marco was most ticklish long ago from teasing him during their training years. Marco continued to yelp, laughing and unable to breathe.

"Stop, Jean! Stop! Can't... breathe!" Marco choked out. He managed to get his leg around Jean and quickly flipped Jean onto his back. He lowered his face, looking Jean directly in the eye, and he was going to tease him, but his breath was taken away by the sight of Jean's angular and beautiful features in the sunlight. He really wanted to kiss Jean, but he was just so flustered that he blushed beet red and quickly dismounted Jean. Jean sat up and put his arm around Marco, and the two sat in comfortable silence until the sun began to set.

Jean finally stood and reached his hand out to help Marco up. "Come on, babe," Jean chirped happily. "We've got work to do before the sun sets." Marco gave Jean a look of confusion, but complied. "Help me find some wood. We're gonna build a bonfire." Marco was still just as confused, but began walking along the clearing, collecting logs and sticks, and returning them to Jean. Jean was building the logs up into a bonfire, and using spare parchment he had brought with him as kindling. Soon, they had spare wood and a large, warm fire, and the sun had set. The two curled up by the fire together, and Jean's plan was going perfectly. Only the hard part was left: find a way to kiss Marco.

This should have been fairly easy for them; they had known each other for years and loved each other deeply. Both were far too shy to admit their fears to the other, however, and this was a bit problematic for the pair. They stayed silent much of the time, just looking at each other, trying to find the right words. Jean admired Marco's features, his signature freckles flickering with the fire in and out of sight. His gawky middle part in his hair that for some reason suited him perfectly, though it would probably look terrible on anyone else. Marco's lips, full and pursed as if he had something to say. Jean was uncharacteristically patient when it came to Marco, so he just waited for whatever it was he had to say. He knew his love would speak as soon as he found the right words for what he wanted to tell him. It was one of the qualities Jean admired most about Marco, the fact that he thought before he spoke. Jean himself had hurt so many people's feelings by lacking that very same trait.

"I'm afraid, Jean," Marco said so quietly that Jean scarcely heard him over the fire's cackle. There was a long pause, but Jean just waited quietly. "I'm afraid that I'm going to drag you to the Scouts with me, and I'm going to get you killed." Marco sat up to face Jean, and searched his eyes for any sign that Jean would back down and go to the Military Police. He didn't find a single hint of wavering, and this caused his own eyes to water with fear. Marco needed Jean with him, but he needed Jean alive more so.

"My sweet love," Jean began, putting his hand up to softly cradle Marco's cheek, "I will never leave your side. I promised you this, yes, but even more importantly, I promised myself. I can't leave you. I don't want to leave you. I spent all this time being an asshole and ignoring my instincts, and it almost got you killed. You are more important than my own life to me, Marco. I know this all has been rough, and we've seen terrible things. I won't be one of those terrible things for you, Marco. I'm going with you. Please just believe me. I love you, and I will survive this war with you." Jean began to ramble, subconsciously moving closer to Marco's face. "After the war, baby, we're going to get a cottage together, outside the wall, by the ocean. We're going to meet a wonderful straight couple, hell, maybe even Sasha and Connie, and then we're going to ask them to surrogate for us so we can be parents together, and raise our children by the water and fish. They'll never have to live in fear like we had to growing up, with that big wall looming over our heads. They'll have the open air, and dreams, and knowledge. It'll all be because of what we're doing right now. Saving humanity from the edge of extinction. Fighting to eliminate the world of Titans. Fighting for our right to be on this earth. Won't that be a proud moment, Marco? When we can look our kids in the eye and tell them that _we_ paved the way for them? I love you so much, Marco Bodt. I love y-"

Marco halted Jean's rant with a kiss on the lips. Their first real kiss. It started simple and soft, Marco's full lips melting like butter onto Jean's. The kiss gained heat, and Jean moaned into Marco's lips lightly, before experimentally opening his mouth a bit and moving his lips, which had been paralyzed by the shock. Marco responded, teasing his tongue across Jean's lower lip, asking permission. Jean tapped his tongue to Marco's and the two melted together, much like the oxygen and flame just a few feet away. Marco pulled himself up onto Jean's lap and the two held each other tightly, chest to chest, caught breathlessly in the kiss, wrapped in a hug.

When they finally came up for air, they remained wrapped together, Jean resting his forehead in the crook of Marco's neck. Marco ran his fingers through Jean's hair, resolute finally in Jean's permanency in his life. Like a phoenix risen from the ashes, the two had finally risen from the ashes of Trost's fall, more in love than ever before, warmed by their own bodies and the fire beside them.


End file.
